The last school bell of the day rung, and quickly I shut my book, and gathered the little belongings that I had at my desk. It was finally over. The smile that was plastered across my face couldn’t be hidden. A bitch had finally done it. Where I was from, girls like me didn’t graduate high school. They either used the schoolhouse as a safe place, a place to sell drugs, or to just waste time when they were bored. None of these bitches cared about their education, but for me, it was imperative.
My name is Dior…Dior Jackson to be exact, and I was a 19-year-old, Queen Gangsta Disciple that would stretch a bitch or a nigga out for playin with me. My smooth, dark, blemish free skin would lead the wrong person to believe that I was some type of hood, African Goddess, and that I was sweet and innocent, but nah none of that. I could be a muthafuckin’ problem, however, this wasn’t the life that I wanted, so I tried to remain as humble as possible.
Unfortunately for me, I was born into this gang life. My mama and daddy, God rest his soul, were both top ranking leaders of the Disciples, which automatically gave me a rank that I didn’t want. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my family, whether they were blood or related through gang. I just wasn’t with this gangsta shit anymore. My pops was murdered in cold blood because of this gang life, and right now, my mama was only on year six or seven of a 25 year sentence. I had really lost count.
She’d murdered the nigga that had killed my daddy, which ultimately landed me, my twin brother Christian, our little sister Fendi, and little brother Nasa in foster care. We were all separated from one another for years, but eventually, I found my siblings, and snatched them out of their homes. We lived in the streets, willingly, until I ran back into Baby, who stopped at nothing to make a better life for us all.
Baby....mmh, mmh, mmh. That nigga…
“I know you saw my text message, Dior, because it said you read it 2 hours ago. Is you gonna help me fight this bitch Monnie or what?” my little sister Fendi quickly plucked me from my thoughts before I could get too deep as she stepped up behind me with a mug on her pretty, chocolate face.
I was walking through the damn near empty halls, trying to hurry up and find my way towards the exit. I couldn’t wait to get out of here. Even though we had a fight in this school damn near every day, the last day of school was the worst. It was the middle of the day, which gave the kids all day to get into some shit.
Everybody was fighting somebody, and it was always guaranteed that a few kids wasn’t going to make it home alive. I wanted no parts of any of it. I had long ago proved myself to the streets and didn’t feel the need to make a useless statement to no one. Everyone knew what it was with me, and they knew how I gave it up.
I peered over my shoulder at Fendi, and immediately frowned at what her little hot ass was wearing. She was only sixteen with the body of a twenty-year-old woman. She knew it, too, which was why everything she wore was always so tight, and a size too small. The white halter top she was wearing had her titties practically spilling through the seams and the blue jean shorts were so far up her vagina that I was pretty sure they were stained with yeast.
I couldn’t wait for the day that Baby or Christian would catch her like this. They were going to have shawty’s neck, and the thought of it had me delighted. She deserved it too for always trying to play somebody.
“I’m not helping you do shit. I told you to stand down when you asked me weeks ago, and I’m not telling you again,” I reiterated to Fendi and she crossed her arms over her double D chest and frowned.
“Bitch, you only out for yourself, and let’s not forget that Bre-Bre is the real Queen and you just here standing in place,” Fendi spat, and I rolled my eyes before stopping in my tracks.
I turned to face her. It was crazy how this little smart mouth hooker looked like a spitting image of our mother and me. My mother’s genes were strong, and she was sure to mark her daughters so that no one could ever deny her existence. Fendi’s thick, gloss covered, pink lips were poked out and her eyes were slanted and low, which led me to believe that she was angry with me. It was the same shit I did when I was mad, as well. I shrugged, moved directly into her space, and crossed my arms over my chest, imitating her exact stance. I wanted her, and her two little minions Amber, and Ryah to hear me loud and clear.
“Little girl, you heard what the fuck I said! Stand down. Do not go nowhere near Monnie, her cousins, or any of them pussy ass slobs. I mean what I said, Fendi. You know what happens if you try me,” I blatantly directed at her, looking directly into her light brown eyes.
“So, I’m supposed to just let all the shit she’s been doing slide? She disrespected me too many times and…”
“And I told your hardheaded ass, what does it matter what the fuck she says about you and Saint? Are you fucking him? And if you’re aren’t, then why do you care what she’s going around saying if it isn’t true! Not starting shit with nobody over a rumor!”
“You know what…” Fendi went to say something but looked around like she was embarrassed by what I’d said. She grimaced before sucking her teeth and backed away with tears in her eyes.
I took in a deep breath watching as she turned her back towards me and bolted down the hallway. She wasn’t going to listen to me. She never did and that shit scared me more than anything in this world. I wasn’t going to always be able to be there for her, and I wished that she would cool it and try to focus on doing something more productive with her life.
Sadly, this gang life meant too much to her. It wasn’t like I could blame her. Just like me, Fendi had the Black Disciples blood pumping like hot lava through her veins. Just like me, it was in her, and not on her. It was something that she would never be able to elude, and the thought of knowing that suddenly had me sick. It wasn’t no escaping this chaos, and me graduating from school wasn’t going to make that any less true. We had managed to get out the hood after fighting so long, but still it was no escaping this world once you were in it.
I released the breath I had been holding on to, threw my book down to the floor, and tossed my bag over my shoulders. Rushing down the hallways, I tried to make it to Fendi and her clique before they could make it outside. No matter how bad my sister thought she was, she wasn’t no match for Monnie.
Monnie was a slob ass blood that was from Summerhill with her bitch ass. She was nineteen years old, solid like a little nigga, and never fought fair. She would literally eat Fendi alive, which was why I told her to leave well enough alone. I wasn’t scared of Monnie’s manly looking ass, but I also wasn’t trying to have my face slashed, or any of my fingers cut off like she was known for doing.
The moment I made it outside, I looked around to see where my sister and her friends had gone. The sun was shining bright and directly into my eyes making it hard for me to see. I squinted as I scanned the heavy crowd while trying to put my sight onto her.
Kids were everywhere, some snapping pics while others were moving back and forth between crowds. I was starting to panic from not being able to spot Fendi. My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach while a weird feeling slithered down my spine.
I quickly removed my cellphone from my back pocket and erratically walked around the campus in search for her. I knew her fast ass didn’t leave and was somewhere around here mixed up in somebody’s drama. I just knew she was.
I looked over my shoulder and saw Ryah, Fendi’s best friend with a muddled look on her face. From where I was standing, I could see that she had tears in her eyes. I rushed over to where she was, and she took my hand into hers and led the way. The way Ryah’s hand trembled inside of mine caused my soul to shake. I hated this feeling. I’d had it so many times, and each time, it meant that things were bad.
I was so scared of what I was going to stumble upon as I was practically being yanked across the campus. I didn’t know why, because Monnie knew what was to come if she did anything to my sister. It wasn’t going to be just me she was going to have to deal with. She was gonna have to see Christian, Baby, and the whole gang and I knew for a fact, Monnie wasn’t looking for that type of smoke. We didn’t play fair either, not for nothing. Knowing that, allowed me to calm down, and act like the Queen that I was even if I didn’t want to be.
“Where is she? Where is Fendi?” I screamed, wishing Ryah would say something instead of dragging me along.
“That bitch Monnie is crazy. She ain’t right in the head. I told Fendi to leave her alone, too, but she wouldn’t listen to me either. You know I’mma have her back regardless tho, Di,” Ryah rambled as we made our way towards the back of the school, near the bleachers.
“What happened to Fendi? I swear Monnie bet not…” I started but when my eyes landed on Fendi’s back, I took off running in her direction. “Fendiiiii!”
She had her back to me, and she was kneeling on the ground while everyone was either standing around staring or recording on their phones. In the distance, I could suddenly hear sirens, so immediately I knew someone had been seriously hurt. The closer I had gotten to Fendi, I spotted Monnie making her way through the crowd with her hand in the air. She was getting ready to strike an unexpecting Fendi, but she had me all the way fucked up.
I ran faster, faster than I ever had in my life and tackled Monnie like we were two football, linebacker bitches on a field. I struck her dead in her face with my fist, knocking the snide smirk that she wore from thinking she was about to touch my little sister. She tried to slice me with the razor that was in her right hand, but I popped her in the nose forcing her to draw both hands to her face.
Before I could even react any further, I briefly looked around and noticed that every Crip in school was now fighting them a pussy ass slob, doing exactly what I didn’t want. Baby was gonna have my head even if I wasn’t the one whom had started it. Regardless, though, I had to stand for mine, so I made sure I fucked Monnie up real good. She really already had it coming to her ass, and now that I saw her even raising her hand in my sister’s direction, made me wanna kill this bitch.
I reached for the razor that had fallen out of her hand, swiped it up in mine and in one quick movement, had slashed Monnie from ear to ear. Blood splattered everywhere and within seconds Monnie was no longer moving. Standing to my feet, I took in a deep breath, realizing what I had done. My hands were covered with that slob’s blood and here she was laying directly under me, looking dead as a muthafucka.
I sighed as anger and regret started to fill me. Fendi gonna make me fuck her up; I thought to myself as I begun to slowly back up, never taking my eyes off of Monnie. The minute I got ready to turn around, I tripped over something and fell flat on my ass. I was ready to start wildly swinging my razor until I realized what was going on. It was Amber; Fendi’s other best friend. She was laying there, lifeless, with half her tongue hanging out her mouth.
My eyes jolted from her and over to Monnie again. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so bad for what I had done to her. Somehow, I knew that Amber was an accident and Fendi was supposed to be laying right there in her place.
Fuck. This shit gotta stop. Only I knew that was an understatement. I had just murdered the King of the Bloods daughter. This shit wasn’t going to be taken lightly.
“Okay and you yelling at me ain’t gonna change anything! I told you I did what the fuck I had to do,” I screamed out, repeating myself for like the 100th time to Baby who stood over me looking like a fucking warden in a prison.
I glared up at him, his chest poked out, making him seem as if he was made up of steel, chocolate, and tattoos. He took in a long toke of the Backwood, and shied away from me for a moment. Today was supposed to be one of the best days of my life, but instead, here I was fighting with the love of my life over some shit my little sister started.
Luckily for me, Monnie didn’t die. I guess I could say lucky. Somebody had got her ass to the hospital just in the nick of time, cause from what I’d heard, she was in critical condition down at Grady. I kinda hoped she died; but then again, maybe the problem we faced would be less severe if she survived.
Either way it went, I knew Draco was coming for The Disciples regardless. Everyone knew he didn’t play about his sweet Monnie even though she was far from sweet. Monnie was as evil as they came, and we all knew that Draco was the reason she did and got away with so much.
He was a legend in the game that had been head of the bloods and streets for a very long time. Not only did he have Notoriety in Atlanta but he also had respect around the world and controlled his home of Jamaica with an iron fist. Even though we were some savages I had to really remember that Draco's reach was much longer and wider than Baby’s.
Damn I really fucked up; I thought to myself as the reality of my actions started to dawn on me.
“So, you don’t hear me fuckin’ talking to you?” Baby quipped causing my head to snap and stare up at him again.
“I…I said I fucked up, Baby, damn. Today wasn’t supposed to be like this!” I whined, not really knowing what else to say. I had been stopped listening to what he’d had to say after I explained myself the first time. Nothing else he said was gonna change my decision or the outcome. “I just graduated, Bae. I’m supposed to be celebrating.”
“Yea and instead you out slicing bitch’s neck and putting us in a fuckin’ war that we can’t afford right now! All behind Fendi’s dumb ass! You know what…fuck that, I’m putting her ass in the streets. Hardheaded ass little girl. Tired of her shit,” Baby ranted on before he suddenly rushed out of the room.
My eyes bucked and I raced behind him, tugging at his meaty arms. He tossed his elbow back, causing me to slam against the hallway’s wall. My head thumped against the surface and I grimaced from the pain, before I shook it off and continued after him.
“Bae no! No…no…no! Fendi didn’t have anything to do with this!”
“You a muthafuckin’ lie! Don’t lie to me! You know I can’t stand a muh’fucka that’ll lie to me!” Baby roared, moving through the house like a maniac.
The moment he made it to the living room, Fendi was already standing and waiting with fear heavily in her eyes. Her hands were ready to go up in defense. She didn’t have time to change out of her thot clothes this time. We had no choice but to run straight home and get the fuck out the way until things had died down from the fight that Fendi’s wild ass started.
“Shut the fuck up and sit down!” Baby yelled, causing Fendi to look as if she had jumped out of her skin. “What the fuck is this shit you got on? You letting your sister walk around lookin’ like a damn slut, Dior?”
Baby was the only person in the world that Fendi wouldn’t disrespect; at least not to his face. She knew what he was about and how he would have no mercy when putting her in her place or proving a point at her expense. She had been the subject of his wrath too many times, and for the life of me, I still couldn’t understand why she wouldn’t just straighten the fuck up.
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Please don’t be mad at Dior. She told me not to and I went to go and talk to Monnie and before I could even say anything, she came at me…and Amber jumped in my way and she got hit instead. It all happened so fast,” Fendi cried hysterically, leaving Baby not the least bit fazed.
“I hope you ready to die for this gang life like you claim. Your sister just violated a Queen blood on your behalf all over a nigga that’ll never fucking touch you cause he not stupid enough and his muh’fuckin’ loyalty lies with me! Don’t let a nigga get you killed, shawty. I taught you to be smarter than that. Taught you to think with your head and not with that shit down there! On gang, Dior ain’t touching shit else that got anything to do with you. Any kinda heat that comes your way, you keep it away from my girl, a’ight?”
“Shut the fuck up!” Baby sneered, briefly glaring at me before he walked up closer to where Fendi sat.
“Nasa and Christian gonna watch you like a muh’fuckin hawk because they not gonna have shit else to do all summer…”
“Huh?” Christian cut in, taking his attention away from his phone. He mean mugged Baby before standing to his feet.
“Sit your ass down nigga!” Baby barked and Christian grimaced before he did as he was told. “You heard what the fuck I said. You and that nigga gonna watch her. She don’t leave this house without my permission. You make sure you let Nasa know.”
“How the fuck I’m supposed to take care of business if I’m running behind Fendi all day?” Christian questioned and Baby sarcastically chuckled.
“Nigga shawty just started a war behind this pussy Henny. It’s ‘bout to be Iraq out here in these streets. Fuck you talking about? Go find Nasa, and Henny, too. Tell ‘em, come home now!”
“I thought you wanted me to watch Fendi! Make your mind up,” Christian huffed, his agitation growing. He frowned before he glared at me, and then shot Fendi a death stare who quickly jolted her head to the floor while twiddling with her fingers.
“Take her with you!” Baby grimaced before bumping past me and heading towards our room.
I glared at Fendi and then Christian before backpedaling and going to see about Baby. The moment we were behind closed doors again, he turned around and stared at me and the steam radiating off his body was enough to blow my head off. I took in a deep breath and went to touch Baby’s chest, when he slightly shoved me back and started to pace the floor in the room.
I watched my man with tons of emotions coursing through my veins. I loved this nigga from the top of my head, down to the very tips of my toes. No, what I meant to say was, I loved him so much that I literally felt him in the depths of my soul. I loved him enough to know that at my young age, there was no other man other than Baby for me. This nigga was me and I was him; he was all over me as I was all over him. There wasn’t a bitch alive that didn’t know that Baby belonged to Dior, and definitely knew how he was coming about me.
I had been knowing him since I was an infant almost. His family and my family were Gang, some related by blood in some way, and some not. My father and Baby’s father were best friends while our mothers got along for the sake of their niggas. We were all one big happy family, until at some point things got really bad before they got worse.
My dad was the first to be killed, and that was all it took to destroy everything that our parents had basically rebuilt from the ground up. My daddy had been the head of the Gangsta Disciples with Baby’s dad being up next as the half-man, and of course, our mamas were Queens Disciples. When my father passed away, it seemed like no one could function without him. I guess no one really realized how much of the glue he was to everything around us.
Months after he died, Baby’s dad was killed, which everyone believed he was assassinated by the police. Baby was taken by child services, while my mama’s mental health continued to perish. My mama literally lost her damn mind. She was no longer taking care of me and my siblings and half of the time, she didn’t even come out of her room. Most nights when I wanted to check on her, I would stand outside of her door, and listen as she would talk to my father or either be crying about how bad she missed him.
Him being gone was really taking a huge toll on her, and I didn’t even realize how bad until one day, she just snapped. My siblings and I were yanked out of our classes, taken down to child services and was chastised about how bad our parents were. All we heard from this one, white social worker was how our daddy was this big dope dealing, gangsta that got himself killed. She even went as far as to explain how our insane mama thought it would be a good idea to pour blood, followed by live rats, on the man she thought was responsible for our daddy’s death, and then setting them all on fire. That lady told us how we should go to jail too, or either die so that we didn’t grow up to be animals like our parents were.
After breaking us down as much as they could, the social workers told us that a family member would be down to get us, but that family member never came. Everyone in my family either stayed away because they were scared of getting caught up, locked up, or just didn’t give a fuck. Me and my siblings were torn from each other and didn’t reunite with each other until years later.
By that time, I had already ran into Baby and Ares. We were all homeless and trying to survive after all the tragedies we’d faced. Eventually, Baby was able to reclaim what was rightfully his with this gang shit. It wasn’t easy, but somehow, he had. He deserved it, too, because he was everything that a leader should be. Having him in my life, I grew to understand how my mama felt before she snapped. I knew that if something were to ever happen to Baby, I’d lose my mind before I said fuck it and risked it all.
“You don’t fuckin’ hear me talking to you?” Baby yelled, and I snapped out of my thoughts and stared up at him.
“Huh? What did you ask me?” I stammered as I ran my eyes over him.
I didn’t even realize he’d gotten undressed, all the way down to his boxers. Unintentionally, my eyes diverted to his print, causing the sides of my mouth to water. Baby had been the only man I had ever been with and I was pretty sure there was nothing better. This nigga just really had it like that.
“You gotta start calling me before you do shit, man…I understand what you say you felt you had to do, but maybe I could’ve done something to fix it before it escalated to this…”
He was the epitome of what a real nigga was; and just did this boss shit effortlessly. God, I was so in love. Staring up at him, I bit down on my bottom lip and gazed into his light brown eyes. I could always see why my nigga had these bitches pressed for a chance with him.
At 6’3, Baby practically towered over everywhere, and not only was he tall, but he was built, too. His arms were like MAC-11s while his chest resembled fucking cannons. Besides the war wounds, his toffee colored skin was a flawless a canvas for the many tattoos that he had.
“Henny gonna make me fuck him up, ‘cause I refuse to believe shawty that pressed behind him and Monnie for nothing…”
I ran my tongue across my lips and pulled my shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor. I then stepped out of my jeans, followed by my underwear. Placing my head on Baby’s chest, I got ready to drop down to my knees when he pushed me back causing me to stagger all the way to the floor. I scowled up at him, when I noticed he was staring at me like he was disgusted with me.
“Why would you push me like that?” I yelled, and quickly hopped to my feet.
“What the fuck is you doing? I know you don’t think you about to get some dick?” Baby questioned as if he was floored by my notion.
“Wha…Huh?” I asked, confused.
“I’m standing here tryna talk to you about some serious shit and you standing here getting naked and trying to suck my dick like this shit a game!”
“I wasn’t tryna suck your dick!” I denied, embarrassed as shit.
“Damn…you sure are lyin’ a lot. Fuck is up with that?”
“I mean…Baby, why the hell are you standing here naked. You just had on all your damn clothes and I look up and you’re standing in front of me in your boxers.”
“If your simple ass would’ve been listening to what the fuck I been saying to you, I told you I was about to hop in the shower so I can try and fix this shit!” Baby yelled before he looked over me again with a baffled look, and then stormed off while shaking his head.
I tucked my arms over my chest as I stared at his back, suddenly pissed the hell off. This day wasn’t supposed to go like this. I had worked my ass off for years taking care of Baby and his brothers, my own sister and brothers, as well as this nigga’s little cousins while trying to do what I needed to do so that I could make something of my life. I never wanted to make my mama or daddy feel like that everything they tried to do for us was in vain. No matter how hard it had gotten, I had accomplished something, and not one person had said congratulations to me. It was eating me up that it hadn’t even been acknowledged, not even the slightest mention.
I was about to say fuck it, but instead rushed into the bathroom, and yanked the shower door back. Baby stood there in all his gangsta glory, while allowing the hot water to fall over him. He wouldn’t even look at me, but I wasn’t going to move until he had. I tucked my arms over my chest again, leaned against the frame of the door, and squinted my eyes while staring at him.
“I ain’t got shit to say to you, Dior,” Baby said, quietly, but with evident agitation.
“You couldn’t even tell me congratulations today, and you know how hard I worked to get here. Then we were supposed to be out celebrating. You just gon’ forget about that, too!” I said and got nothing back but silence. “Baby?”
“You better hope we make it out of all this shit alive while you talm’ ‘bout celebrating some shit. Get the fuck away from me right now,” Baby spat, and I sneered before I slammed the glass door shut and stormed out of the bathroom.
I stood in the middle of the bedroom with tears spilling down my face from being so angry. I wanted to explode, but I knew that it wasn’t going to do me any good. Instead, I kicked the shoes that were near me, and decided to say fuck it and take me a nap.